If He doesn't call...he doesn't care. 'Nuff Said.

New York Times bestselling authors Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo’s self-help book for women entitled He’s Just Not That Into You is the type of manual that is supposed to lift women from the pits of self-loathing and into a life of relationship/marital bliss. The book offers what it describes as no-nonsense advice to understanding men and deconstructing the age old question as to why they never call back after what seemed to be a positively picturesque first date. Here, I’ll save you the 10 dollars Amazon.com is charging for the book, and give you the answer. He’s not interested…at all. It seems simple enough doesn’t it? Which begs the question, why does such a book need to exist in the first place, let alone be made into a movie?

The film revolves around the lives of several different couples all trying to answer the question, “is he really that into me?” Gigi is a happy-go-lucky brunette who can’t seem to learn the lessons from one date to the next. Guys never call her back, and go out of their way to avoid her, so naturally she decides to stalk them to get the answers she needs. She soon meets Alex (Justin Long) whose job it is to give her “relationship advice” nothing more, nothing less, although I’m sure you can already guess who these two are dating by the end of the movie.

Beth (Jennifer Anniston) has been dating and living with her boyfriend Neil (Ben Affleck) for 7 years. Beth’s frustrations have mounted to an all-time high when it appears that Neil is still nowhere near tying the knot. “I’m committed” he cries, but with no ring to prove to Beth that he is. Ben (Bradley Cooper) and his wife Janine (Jennifer Connelly) have a seemingly happy marriage until Ben, in his self-pitying gets tangled up in an affair with Anna (Scarlett Johansson). Throw in Drew Barrymore’s character of which I still can’t figure out the purpose, and you’ve got a film that despite a talented cast’s best efforts ultimately falls doom to too many plates spinning at once without a strong handle on any one of them.

Now I know what you’re probably thinking. I’m a male. How could my brain even remotely begin to understand the complex inner workings of these social constructs and the problems they pose? Perhaps you’re right, but the reason the film doesn’t work is not because of the acting, or even (here’s the surprise) the subject matter. It’s simply the fact that there are too many plots evolving at once, with not a satisfying pay-off for a single one of them. There are throw-away characters that add nothing to the story in the least There are in fact, great pieces of writing. Take for example, Drew Barymore’s sharp and witty monolouge about her longing for the “good ole days” of a guy picking up a phone and calling as opposed to the numerous modern day mediums from which she must face rejection i.e. email, and myspace. Women and men alike would do well to listen to her advice and realize that relationships cannot be reduced to mere formula, despite Hollywood’s best efforts to convince us so.

2/5